Hi, I’m mike89! You may remember me from such
fake chats as the Constitutional Trilogy and CherryMayNot! However, this time,
I have a very special premise for you all.
As
you are all aware, EpicMafia is a totally epic fad. In order to immortalise it
in TSC history forever, presented below is the full log of the greatest Mafia
game that will never grace TSC! Welcome to...
FAKE
CHAT 5: AN OFFER YOU CAN’T REFUSE
A
quick note before I start: You may all remember the commentary from the first
four of my fake chats. I haven’t been lazy, I merely integrated the commentary
into this one. Most of what I say in mafia games is pointless commentary rather
than game-related anyways, so this fits me.
Pregame Night
1 >>
Setup: 3
doctors, 2 cops, 1 tracker, 1 watcher, 2 vigilantes, 1 bomb, 1 granny, 1
shrink, 1 jailer, 1 cultist, 1 fool, 1 lyncher, 1 killer, 1 warlock, 1
amnesiac, 1 silencer, 1 yakuza, 1 framer, 1 hooker, 1 janitor, 1 driver
Waiting
for 24 more players...
genus
has joined!
flyby
has joined!
stefan
has joined!
genus:
this... promises to be epic
DanPMK
has joined!
Paraxade
has joined!
Firstkirbyever
has joined!
wersterlobe
has joined!
flyby:
werster!!
wersterlobe:
hi flyby!!!
superjupi
has joined!
Sylux
has joined!
Spinballwizard
has joined!
TheT113
has joined!
CrUiZ3R
has joined!
Upthorn
has joined!
Spinballwizard:
unranked what
flyby:
rankfag!
Upthorn:
grrn.
flyby:
fine. ranknoob then.
Firstkirbyever:
whats a Rankfag?
mike89:
people like you who think ranked games are all that matter
Firstkirbyever:
>_>
PPAChao
has joined!
SonicAD
has joined!
skylights
has joined!
skylights:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Sondow
has joined!
RingRush
has joined!
Joshuagain
has joined!
mike89:
five more...
genus:
pre-emptive claim time!
genus:
I am totally the lyncher
wersterlobe:
i’ll be the fool so when i get rled it actually favours me
flyby:
lol
DanPMK:
you mean favors >:O
flyby:
i call genus yak target
wersterlobe:
no i mean favours!!
stefan:
flyby/genus/stef maf
stefan:
come onnnn
Upthorn:
I demand to be the mad granny
WingedInsignia
has joined!
Alondite
has joined!
douglas
has joined!
Sylux:
Two more for all-TSC game :o
Joshuagain:
I’m just going to take this opportunity to get a line in as I’m clearly going
to die n1
fuzzerd
has joined!
Sylux:
One more!!
mike89:
before we start: spot the subliminal message hidden in the game!
Quartz
has joined!
<<
Pregame Night
1 Day
1 >>
(Mafia
meetings will be in black, cult in blue, cop in orange, and notices and the
graveyard in red)
You feel very irritated by
fuzzerd.
stefan: state your roles
stefan: janitor
SonicAD: yak
Firstkirbyever: Ok who to
investigate?
Sondow: I’m a hooker :o
stefan: alondite is silencer
Sylux: driver :/
CrUiZ3R: framer
stefan: ok here’s how it’s going to go
stefan: we kill fuzzerd first
fuzzerd: let’s go for RR
stefan: ad are you going to yak?
SonicAD: of course, genus
stefan: DON’T YAK GENUS
stefan: it’s too obvious
stefan: go for, say, paraxade
SonicAD: ok
stefan: hooker and framer will nk and
pick other targets, which allows them to claim doc
stefan: yak hammers as it doesn’t matter
if he dies anyway
SUMMARY
OF NIGHT 1 DECISIONS
Doctor
meeting
superjupi votes SonicAD
PPAChao votes genus
douglas votes CrUiZ3R
Cop
meeting
Firstkirbyever votes RingRush
fuzzerd votes RingRush
Tracker
meeting
Paraxade votes douglas
Watcher
meeting
Upthorn votes TheT113
Mafia
meeting
stefan votes fuzzerd
Sylux votes fuzzerd
CrUiZ3R votes no one
SonicAD votes fuzzerd
Sondow votes no one
Shrink
meeting
Spinballwizard votes Spinballwizard
Fool
meeting
RingRush votes PPAChao
Amnesiac
meeting
mike89 votes end meeting
Cult
meeting
Quartz votes DanPMK
Killer
meeting
TheT113 votes SonicAD
Warlock
meeting
genus votes no one
Janitor
meeting
stefan votes fuzzerd
Hooker
meeting
Sondow votes flyby
Yakuza
meeting
SonicAD votes Paraxade
Framer
meeting
CrUiZ3R votes skylights
Driver
meeting
Sylux votes TheT113
Driver
meeting
Sylux votes Paraxade
Vigil
meeting
skylights votes no one
Joshuagain votes no one
Silencer
meeting
Alondite votes no one
<<
Night 1 Day
1 Night
2 >>
After investigations, you
suspect that RingRush is sided with the village.
You followed SonicAD
throughout the night. SonicAD visited fuzzerd, Paraxade.
You watched TheT113 throughout
the night. Sylux has visited TheT113.
fuzzerd is missing!
Joshuagain, the vigilante, has
died a bloody death.
Sondow, the hooker, has died a
bloody death.
Joshuagain: TOLD YOU SO.
Sondow: but now we get to
laugh at them from the grave!
DanPMK: DAMNIT.
DanPMK: You feel very irritated by
fuzzerd.
fuzzerd: hahaha
Firstkirbyever: After investigations,
you suspect that RingRush is sided with the village.
RingRush: LOL HI
genus: reasonable start
stefan: fke what
stefan: you do not out yourself without
a guilty
Firstkirbyever: >_>
Firstkirbyever: Theres Three docs!
flyby: genus isn’t dead
flyby: he must be mafia
douglas: or else yakked
wersterlobe: i dunno how this happens
wersterlobe: but i always get the most
boring roles :(
flyby: :(
flyby: ok I’m not even going to try and
comprehend all that could’ve happened there
stefan: here’s my guess
stefan: it’s pretty clear the mafia got
fuzzerd
stefan: I think killer killed sondow
stefan: and douglas tagged the granny
Paraxade: You followed SonicAD
throughout the night. SonicAD visited fuzzerd, genus.
Paraxade: doc on me
Spinballwizard: and shrink
Spinballwizard: yak’s not dead
Paraxade: oh right
TheT113: Nice.
superjupi: ...aw, shit
SonicAD: Paraxade faked that
SonicAD: he’s been yakked
Paraxade: superjupi, did we just out
your partner?
superjupi whispers to Paraxade: I’m doc,
I saved him :x
Paraxade whispers to superjupi: :/
stefan: hammer
SonicAD: ...oh I give up
SonicAD: but I really did yak him!
Sondow: ...
stefan: lynch genus tomorrow
SUMMARY
OF DAY 1 DECISIONS
mike89 votes SonicAD
genus
votes SonicAD
flyby
votes SonicAD
stefan
votes SonicAD
DanPMK
votes SonicAD
Paraxade
votes SonicAD
Firstkirbyever
votes SonicAD
wersterlobe
votes SonicAD
superjupi
votes SonicAD
Sylux
votes SonicAD
Spinballwizard
votes SonicAD
TheT113
votes SonicAD
CrUiZ3R
votes SonicAD
Upthorn
votes SonicAD
PPAChao
votes SonicAD
SonicAD
votes SonicAD
skylights
votes SonicAD
RingRush
votes SonicAD
Joshuagain
votes SonicAD
WingedInsignia
votes SonicAD
Alondite
votes SonicAD
douglas
votes SonicAD
Quartz
votes SonicAD
<<
Day 1 Night
2 Day
2 >>
SonicAD, the yakuza, has died
a bloody death.
Sondow: AD why did you tell
them you yakked Paraxade
stefan: fuzzerd was cop
DanPMK: Quartz? didn’t
expect that, heh
SonicAD: they’ll never believe
me
SonicAD: Paraxade played his
hand well
Quartz: Nobody ever
suspects me.
Paraxade: superjupi whispers to
Paraxade: I’m doc, I saved him :x
stefan: bah why didn’t sondow tell me
who he was hooking
CrUiZ3R: so cop and vig to start... not
bad
stefan: nice work parax!
Paraxade: like my altered tracker
report?
stefan: i’ll like it even more when
genus is the other vig
Sylux: heh
stefan: parax
Quartz: So, who to
recruit?
stefan: fake a report on genus
Paraxade: k
Paraxade: You followed genus throughout
the night. genus visited mike89.
stefan: no
DanPMK: get achlys
stefan: don’t kill mike
stefan: he’s not a threat
Quartz: Ok.
stefan: we’ll kill jupi, since we know
her role
stefan: i’ll hammer
stefan: i’m useless now
stefan: cruizer nk
SUMMARY
OF NIGHT 2 DECISIONS
Doctor
meeting
superjupi votes Paraxade
PPAChao votes Paraxade
douglas votes Upthorn
Cop
meeting
Firstkirbyever votes Sylux
Watcher
meeting
Upthorn votes Quartz
Mafia
meeting
stefan votes superjupi
Paraxade votes superjupi
Sylux votes superjupi
CrUiZ3R votes no one
Shrink
meeting
Spinballwizard votes Spinballwizard
Fool
meeting
RingRush votes Paraxade
Amnesiac
meeting
mike89 votes Joshuagain
Cult
meeting
DanPMK votes WingedInsignia
Quartz votes WingedInsignia
Killer
meeting
TheT113 votes Spinballwizard
Warlock
meeting
genus votes Paraxade
Framer
meeting
CrUiZ3R votes douglas
Driver
meeting
Sylux votes no one
Driver
meeting
Sylux votes no one
Vigil
meeting
skylights votes RingRush
Silencer
meeting
Alondite votes genus
<<
Night 2 Day
2 Night
3 >>
After investigations, you
suspect that Sylux is sided with the mafia.
You watched Quartz throughout
the night. No one has visited Quartz.
superjupi, the doctor, has
died a bloody death.
Spinballwizard, the shrink,
has died a bloody death.
RingRush, the fool, has died a
bloody death.
RingRush: aw :(
Firstkirbyever: After investigations,
you suspect that Sylux is sided with the mafia.
Paraxade: You followed genus throughout
the night. genus visited mike89.
stefan: ...
stefan: that’s... a pretty useless
report
Sylux: I’ve been framed!
Sylux: Framed I tell ya!
stefan: as in like
stefan: you probably just outed a doc
stefan: now he’s gonna die tonight
Paraxade: could be he’s cult
stefan: either way it sounds fishy
Firstkirbyever: are We forgetting my
report!!!
Firstkirbyever: im Even clear from
before!
Sylux: I told you
Sylux: I was framed
Firstkirbyever: i don’t think so
>_>
stefan: I’m thinking the lynch on
paraxade is a good idea
Paraxade whispers to stefan: what? we’re
on the same side now
stefan whispers to Paraxade: I do this
all the time
stefan whispers to Paraxade: we’ll be
fine
mike89 whispers to Firstkirbyever: check
sylux again tonight
mike89 whispers to Firstkirbyever: I’m
betting he won’t be framed again
PPAChao: LEAK
PPAChao: mike89 whispers to somebody:
I’m betting he won’t be framed again
PPAChao: mike framer confirmed
mike89: well, you could kill me
mike89: or you could actually try and
win the game
PPAChao: well what if I were mafia :o
PPAChao: Then I’d want you to die if you
were town.
mike89: PPA fool confirmed
PPAChao: fool’s dead noob
stefan: let’s just lynch parax and get
it over with
stefan: hammer you two
SUMMARY
OF DAY 2 DECISIONS
mike89 votes Paraxade
genus
votes Paraxade
flyby
votes Paraxade
stefan
votes Paraxade
DanPMK
votes Paraxade
Paraxade
votes no one
Firstkirbyever
votes Paraxade
wersterlobe
votes Paraxade
Sylux
votes Paraxade
TheT113
votes Paraxade
CrUiZ3R
votes Paraxade
Upthorn
votes Paraxade
PPAChao
votes mike89
skylights
votes Paraxade
WingedInsignia
votes Paraxade
Alondite
votes Paraxade
douglas
votes Paraxade
Quartz votes Paraxade
<<
Day 2 Night
3 Day
3 >>
Paraxade, the mafia, has died
a bloody death.
Quartz: What were you,
Winged?
stefan: ok
stefan: so I just outed parax
stefan: but it’s ok!
WingedInsignia: jailer
stefan: the town trusts me now, see
Sylux: I’m probably dead tomorrow though
stefan: even so
stefan: we still have me and cruizer
stefan: cruizer hasn’t been suspected
yet
CrUiZ3R: :)
stefan: also alondite
Quartz: I say we get genus
WingedInsignia: NO.
WingedInsignia: he’s a
suspect
DanPMK: I don’t think so
heh
DanPMK: Paraxade being
yakked pretty much leaves everything on a clean slate
stefan: we do need to kill the cult
though
stefan: before they get too much of a
hold
stefan: I’m thinking douglas
stefan: again: cruizer, nk and pick a
framer target
CrUiZ3R: ok
WingedInsignia: doesn’t
matter
WingedInsignia: I mean
it’s n3 and he hasn’t died yet
WingedInsignia: he’s gotta
be mafia, and we need the mafia
DanPMK: no we don’t!
DanPMK: the more killers
there are out there the bigger the chance we die
WingedInsignia: whatever
WingedInsignia: genus it
is
SUMMARY
OF NIGHT 3 DECISIONS
Doctor
meeting
PPAChao votes Firstkirbyever
douglas votes mike89
Cop
meeting
Firstkirbyever votes Sylux
Watcher
meeting
Upthorn votes genus
Mafia
meeting
stefan votes douglas
Sylux votes douglas
CrUiZ3R votes no one
Cult
meeting
DanPMK votes genus
WingedInsignia votes genus
Quartz votes genus
Killer
meeting
TheT113 votes skylights
Warlock
meeting
genus votes genus
Framer
meeting
CrUiZ3R votes flyby
Driver
meeting
Sylux votes no one
Driver
meeting
Sylux votes no one
Vigil
meeting
mike89 votes no one
skylights votes no one
Silencer
meeting
Alondite votes no one
<<
Night 3 Day
3 Night
4 >>
After investigations, you
suspect that Sylux is sided with the mafia.
You watched genus throughout
the night. WingedInsignia has visited genus.
douglas, the doctor, has died
a bloody death.
skylights, the vigilante, has
died a bloody death.
CrUiZ3R, the framer, has died
a bloody death.
CrUiZ3R: bah flyby was granny!
CrUiZ3R: :(
skylights:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
stefan: ok so
stefan: mafia has janitor, silencer and
driver remaining
stefan: cult numbers four
stefan: and there’s... 14 people
remaining
stefan: the vigilantes are dead
stefan: mafia/cult can force nl
genus: I can speak!
WingedInsignia: assuming the cult hasn’t
recruited any mafia, of course.
flyby: don’t forget amnesiac
genus: by the way guys
genus: Janitor meetingYouchoose fuzzerd
Sondow: lolwut?
douglas: . . .
CrUiZ3R: ahahaha
Firstkirbyever: It’s fake!
Firstkirbyever: he Left out the spaces
mike89: nah, genus just uses an inferior
browser
genus: maybe it’s on a different plane
of awesomeness than yours
flyby: ...
stefan: well if you want to make it easy
for us
stefan: let’s all just vote genus
Upthorn: as it’s now relevant...
Upthorn: You watched genus throughout
the night. WingedInsignia has visited genus.
Upthorn: could the last doctor claim?
DanPMK: something about that doesn’t sit
well with me...
WingedInsignia: NO
WingedInsignia: WARLOCK
WingedInsignia: DON’T DO IT
WingedInsignia: also if the doctor
claims he gets culted
mike89: come on, he would’ve had to pick
AD or Paraxade out of thin air
DanPMK: could also be amnesiac turned
fool
Upthorn: then just claim to me?
genus: ...oh. damn.
WingedInsignia: then you get culted
WingedInsignia: and you out the doc
WingedInsignia: doc should stay put
flyby: well paraxade was kinda obvious
after sonicad outed him
genus: nevermind that report then
genus: I’ve been culted
mike89: so there’s no more than six
scum, which means town still has majority
mike89: we can afford to lynch genus
mike89: while we keep searching
genus: now hold on just a second
genus: you gain nothing by lynching me
genus: cult stays the same size, and
mafia and killer get a shot each
genus: personally, I think--
SUMMARY
OF DAY 3 DECISIONS
mike89 votes genus
genus
votes genus
flyby
votes genus
stefan
votes no one
DanPMK
votes genus
Firstkirbyever
votes genus
wersterlobe
votes genus
Sylux
votes genus
TheT113
votes genus
Upthorn
votes genus
PPAChao
votes genus
WingedInsignia
votes genus
Alondite
votes genus
Quartz
votes genus
<< Day 3 Night
4 Day
4 >>
genus, the cultist, has died a bloody death.
genus: damnit
stefan:
if we get the cult now
genus: I -was- the warlock
genus: but those noobs culted me
stefan:
we’re in a really strong position
douglas: haha, sucks to be you
Quartz: OK, now what?
WingedInsignia: FKE’s the cop
WingedInsignia: go for him
Sylux:
let’s kill PPA
stefan:
sure
DanPMK: I’d rather he didn’t screw it up for all of us heh
WingedInsignia: point.
DanPMK: how about Alondite?
Quartz: I’m fine with that
SUMMARY
OF NIGHT 4 DECISIONS
Doctor
meeting
PPAChao votes Firstkirbyever
Cop
meeting
Firstkirbyever votes Upthorn
Watcher
meeting
Upthorn votes DanPMK
Mafia
meeting
stefan votes PPAChao
Sylux votes PPAChao
Cult
meeting
DanPMK votes Alondite
WingedInsignia votes Alondite
Quartz votes Alondite
Killer
meeting
TheT113 votes Sylux
Driver
meeting
Sylux votes mike89
Driver
meeting
Sylux votes Firstkirbyever
Vigil
meeting
mike89 votes stefan
Silencer
meeting
Alondite
votes no one
<< Night 4 Day
4 Night
5 >>
After investigations, you suspect that stefan is sided with the
mafia.
You watched DanPMK throughout the night. No one has visited DanPMK.
PPAChao, the doctor, has died a bloody death.
Sylux, the driver, has died a bloody death.
Upthorn, the watcher, has died a bloody death.
stefan:
ok
stefan:
4 cult, at least one mafia
stefan:
force an NL, cult me and you win
Firstkirbyever:
Er
Firstkirbyever:
this isn’t Right
Firstkirbyever:
i investigated upthorn
Firstkirbyever:
and it says
Firstkirbyever:
After investigations, you suspect that stefan is sided with the mafia.
stefan:
... or, you know
stefan:
we could just lynch fke
DanPMK:
fine by me heh
SUMMARY
OF DAY 4 DECISIONS
mike89 votes Firstkirbyever
flyby
votes Firstkirbyever
stefan
votes Firstkirbyever
DanPMK
votes Firstkirbyever
Firstkirbyever
votes no one
wersterlobe
votes Firstkirbyever
TheT113
votes Firstkirbyever
WingedInsignia
votes Firstkirbyever
Alondite
votes Firstkirbyever
Quartz
votes Firstkirbyever
<< Day 4 Night
5 Day
5 >>
Firstkirbyever, the cop, has died a bloody death.
DanPMK: ok
DanPMK: we are _not_ culting stefan
Alondite: why not?
DanPMK: I think he’s granny trying to get us to cult him
Alondite: what does he have to gain from that?
DanPMK: fun?
DanPMK: even if he is granny he’ll still win as long as cult
leader doesn’t hammer
WingedInsignia: I’ve suspected flyby pretty much all game
WingedInsignia: she’s been unusually quiet
WingedInsignia: let’s go for her
Alondite: alright
WingedInsignia: ...Quartz, hammer
Quartz: Oh, sorry.
SUMMARY
OF NIGHT 5 DECISIONS
Mafia
meeting
stefan votes no one
Cult
meeting
DanPMK votes flyby
WingedInsignia votes flyby
Alondite votes flyby
Quartz votes flyby
Killer
meeting
TheT113 votes WingedInsignia
Vigil
meeting
mike89
votes DanPMK
<< Night 5 Day
5 Night
6 >>
flyby, the cultist, has died a bloody death.
DanPMK, the cultist, has died a bloody death.
WingedInsignia, the cultist, has died a bloody death.
Alondite, the cultist, has died a bloody death.
Quartz, the cultist, has died a bloody death.
DanPMK: DAMNIT.
mike89:
ahaha
WingedInsignia: NO
mike89:
epic!
WingedInsignia: WE HAD THIS GAME
WingedInsignia: QUARTZ WHY DID YOU HAMMER
DanPMK: ...>_>
Quartz: <_<
stefan:
ok so mass claim
stefan:
you know what I am
mike89:
everyone claims granny
mike89:
not wanting to be shot by you
TheT113:
Yeah, something like that.
TheT113:
ps I’m killer
stefan:
joint?!
TheT113:
Sure, why not.
SUMMARY OF DAY 5 DECISIONS
mike89
votes stefan
stefan
votes no one
wersterlobe
votes stefan
TheT113
votes no one
<< Day 5 Night
6 Day
6 >>
SUMMARY OF NIGHT 6 DECISIONS
Mafia
meeting
stefan votes wersterlobe
Killer
meeting
TheT113 votes mike89
Vigil
meeting
mike89
votes TheT113
<< Night 6 Day
6 Game
Over >>
wersterlobe, the bomb, has died a bloody death.
stefan, the janitor, has died a bloody death.
mike89, the vigilante, has died a bloody death.
TheT113, the killer, has died a bloody death.
<<
Day 6 Game
Over
No one wins!
This game was unranked.
DanPMK: XD
genus: what you should have done
mike89: EPIC FINISH
stefan: ahahahaha
genus: was -not culted me-
genus: so I could’ve won by myself
PPAChao: I would like to note that RR is
a bigger fool than I :O
wersterlobe: awesome!
WingedInsignia: no, what we should have
done was not let Quartz hammer the vote
RingRush: I would like to note that PPA
is a furry
flyby: you are all silly!
PPAChao: I’M NOT A FURRY
Spinballwizard: remember PPA
Spinballwizard: the first step is
admitting you have a problem!
PPAChao: >_>
mike89: incidentally, genus
mike89: I considered this possibility
before you did
genus: which?
mike89: though I thank you for finding
out how the game handled it
mike89: having everyone get killed on
the last night
genus: oh. boo.
genus: incidentally, what was the secret
message?
Firstkirbyever: read my lines again
>_>
mike89: what he said.
genus: that is a lame way of inserting a
secret message
genus: real men use background effects
mike89: that wasn’t exactly available to
me here >_>
flyby: we have to do that again some
time
wersterlobe: agreed
genus: indeed.
mike89: until next time~